My poor aching brain.

This is not what you think it is but keep thinking it till you see different.

I was out drinking on Saturday night. All the 'adult' parties happen then cause we all have to work on Tuesday (Halloween)

I had a kick-ass costume. I was a wall-street demon. I don't deal in whole souls, just shares :) I had a suit and a red shirt, a tie, new shoes and a very red face complete with horns and sharp teeth.

I had less to drink then normal but chugged the equivalent to 3 triples of whisky. I was drunk by the time we left to get cash and hit the bar.

on the way we stopped at a local bank to get money for the bar, I had fun watching a friend face-plant into a building as he slipped on ice. (don't worry, he was too drunk to get hurt) next we hit the bar and had a lot of fun for an hour or so. That's when it started getting boring. I spent more time looking for a friend then dancing, so we all left.

after getting home (and three of us tipping the cabbie) we went upstairs (we were staying a the house of a sibling to one of our co-drinkers) I faceplanted the floor and left a huge red mark made out of oil-based paint. Luckily my love managed to clean it up. Then I got all my make-up off and curled up by the toilet. I was not sick but my head was not working right. I could think clearly but not connect my brain to my body. I wa sworried that the people would be pissed about the carpet (clean as it was_) and I was repeating everything multiple times. I was shaking and crying. It took my love and her friend two hours to calm me sort of down and then I passed out. Turns out I had an anxiety attack

next day at work.

I am feeling queasy but I don't mind...It is self inflicted one of my, non-drinking, co-workers points out. I get throught he day getting a bit nervous and finally request to go home early to avoid the colder weather that makes the roads worse.

I suppose at this time I should mention that the roads were sheer ice. It had blizzarded and we got over a foot of snow over-night. I got to go an hour early and I started the 45minuted drive home. That's a 45min drive a highway speeds...It took me an hour and a half and 50-60kmh, the average of everyone. My car was almost always sliding somewhere and at one point while climbing a hill it started to spin just from gravity pulling down on it.

I nearly had another attack on the way home and did lateron that night.

I don't want to work but I need my job.

I hate my boss.

I called in to-day. Even the busses are not running due to weather so I am not driving in. At least that is what I told my boss. In short. I cabinet mentally handle work to-day. I am too stressed out and everything is getting to me.

please excuse the spelling of some things I am not used to this keyboard.......


I think I may be having a mental breakdown...

I am going to try to see a head person about therapy...

pray for me

Dancing in circles.

me and my love have started dancing at night. its nothing special as far as dances go. we are just going about our routine when music we like comes on. I reach for her and she glides into my arms. we just dance in circles, occasionally changing the lyrics of a song to fit us. Lips on an Angel is one of our favorites. Also one is "our" song, Princess Blue, by Starewell. we just sway back and forth looking into each others eyes... "So this is love... so this, is Love..." the melody from Cinderella normally makes us break out into giggles as one or the other tries to reach the high pitch of the soprano. This IS Love (Capital. 'L')...

On to another kind of dancing...

RARRARARARARARARAR!
I run around the house with an eight year-old girl riding piggy-back. the girl is my loves cousin, over for the day.

RAARRARRARARARARR!
We chase down everything from Dogs (amigo-Chihuahua...Daisy-Poodle/weinerdog) to Duckles (My Love) we go downstairs and upstairs, we jump on the bed and on My love who is attempting to have a nap (she should have known better :} )

I could get used to this.

I have to run now, we are taking the cousin for a walk to the park and back.

TTYL