My poor aching brain.

This is not what you think it is but keep thinking it till you see different.

I was out drinking on Saturday night. All the 'adult' parties happen then cause we all have to work on Tuesday (Halloween)

I had a kick-ass costume. I was a wall-street demon. I don't deal in whole souls, just shares :) I had a suit and a red shirt, a tie, new shoes and a very red face complete with horns and sharp teeth.

I had less to drink then normal but chugged the equivalent to 3 triples of whisky. I was drunk by the time we left to get cash and hit the bar.

on the way we stopped at a local bank to get money for the bar, I had fun watching a friend face-plant into a building as he slipped on ice. (don't worry, he was too drunk to get hurt) next we hit the bar and had a lot of fun for an hour or so. That's when it started getting boring. I spent more time looking for a friend then dancing, so we all left.

after getting home (and three of us tipping the cabbie) we went upstairs (we were staying a the house of a sibling to one of our co-drinkers) I faceplanted the floor and left a huge red mark made out of oil-based paint. Luckily my love managed to clean it up. Then I got all my make-up off and curled up by the toilet. I was not sick but my head was not working right. I could think clearly but not connect my brain to my body. I wa sworried that the people would be pissed about the carpet (clean as it was_) and I was repeating everything multiple times. I was shaking and crying. It took my love and her friend two hours to calm me sort of down and then I passed out. Turns out I had an anxiety attack

next day at work.

I am feeling queasy but I don't mind...It is self inflicted one of my, non-drinking, co-workers points out. I get throught he day getting a bit nervous and finally request to go home early to avoid the colder weather that makes the roads worse.

I suppose at this time I should mention that the roads were sheer ice. It had blizzarded and we got over a foot of snow over-night. I got to go an hour early and I started the 45minuted drive home. That's a 45min drive a highway speeds...It took me an hour and a half and 50-60kmh, the average of everyone. My car was almost always sliding somewhere and at one point while climbing a hill it started to spin just from gravity pulling down on it.

I nearly had another attack on the way home and did lateron that night.

I don't want to work but I need my job.

I hate my boss.

I called in to-day. Even the busses are not running due to weather so I am not driving in. At least that is what I told my boss. In short. I cabinet mentally handle work to-day. I am too stressed out and everything is getting to me.

please excuse the spelling of some things I am not used to this keyboard.......


I think I may be having a mental breakdown...

I am going to try to see a head person about therapy...

pray for me